Once a silent wanderer, with the only hope residing within your self was to be recognised some day; hoping and searching for meaning in this endless pursuit we call ‘chasing our dreams’.
We work hard enough, through rejection, through failure, through dismissiveness, through the ridicule, to discover that all the pain and all the adversity was worth the effort to have been finally realised.
We continue functioning, improving upon ourselves, giving back, helping those who needed a hand, never forgetting how difficult it was to have finally reached what seems like a peaceful platitude.
It seems, on the surface, the euphoria is what keeps us going, the desire is still burning, the anxiety is a little less haunting now.
You find the faces that once ignored you, now stand up and greet you with a smile as you enter the room.
It seems as though everybody desperately wants you to remember of how proud they are of your accomplishment.
You see familiar faces, except it’s not a look of ridicule but rather one of assumption, that they too will share the gifts of your bearings.
There’s a sense of resemblance and familiarity, not of rejection but one of desperation.
You’ll hear ideas being shared, some that make no sense to you, or as to exactly why suddenly your thoughts are so relevant.
Of the ones that once dismissed you, now look to you, in providing employment to their friends and relatives as they pass an endless flow of resumes to you.
Flaunting of just how brilliant they are, and how they so ambitiously deserve to be given a share in your success.
On the offers you make, and the handshakes exchanged, you find it’s not for your work that they value you, but rather the trail of success your life has embarked upon.
Of how they don’t wish to be faced with the same adversity you once faced, or the fortitude it took to be able to accomplish what you have, but rather its a necessity they feel that it was an opportunity they missed out on and wish to remedy the mistake of once ignoring you.
You grow tired and fatigued, because the work never leaves you, and small talk bothers you.
They look to you for hope, where once they saw nothing but calamity.
Of how they’re not glad you didn’t crash and burn, but now that you’ve proven yourself, you must share every ounce of the fruits you bear because it seems unjust to have left the ones who never cared for you behind.
Prepare yourself, for what once seemed was a peaceful plateau, a grassy hill you could finally lie down on, free from anxiety and pain.
Nobody remembers the endless nights you stayed up at night, they only notice what you are, not what it took to get here.
You find that in this endless pursuit of chasing your dream, somehow accidentally your adversaries assumed they now too have a claim to your success.
It becomes numbing as relationships crumble, and you find yourself back where you once where when you first embarked on this journey.
Alone and disconcerted, looking for an outlet for escape.
You resolve back to your work, your pride; learning to love the solitude.