To give an example from my own experience, my neighbours once caught me smoking cigarettes back when I was a teenager and came over to our house to complain to my parents. My dad’s response was “Where has your son been today?”, and they had no idea. Then my dad politely responded “When you’re too busy concerning yourself with what goes on in your neighbours house, you forget to take care of your own. We appreciate the gesture, but please do pay attention to your children”. I quit smoking shortly after, I think my dad indirectly made me learn that lesson when they said they didn’t mind that I did it, it’s just that I should’ve told them.
Lovely having this conversation with you! Do keep in touch, I’ll be sure to check out your writing soon.