This is not what I signed up for.
“I didn’t sign up for this!” — is remarkably the most milked dialogue in Hollywood history.
Some have even argued that half of the world’s population agrees that it was Nelson Mandela who coined the phrase.
As he spoke to a crowd of millions and proclaimed, “Yeah nah fuck this shit. I didn’t sign up for this”.
Recently Celebrities have been complaining about this very phenomenon; “We didn’t sign up for this”.
To be fair, they didn’t exactly sign up for it — but they kinda hoped they would garner the benefits and wouldn’t have to.
Yet, Karma is a dish best served cold — like solid Carbon Dioxide.
“I didn’t sign up for a lifetime of stalking after I tweeted a photograph of my ass out to millions of people”.
“I didn’t sign up for pimples on my back when I injected steroids up my ass”.
“I didn’t sign up for your criticism when I decided to write a critical novel about the current state of our political climate, up my ass”.
“I didn’t sign up for all this responsibility when I asked for the job, up my ass!”.
“Wait a minute…what do you mean babies aren’t cute all the time? I didn’t sign up for this when I raw-dogged it, up your ass!”.
Are just a few of my select favourite from people who got exactly what they signed up for, but continued to live in denial — and as such were forgotten of, but never left alone; because they didn’t sign up for this!
But no seriously, they didn’t sign up for it.
I mean…I guess they kinda did? You know, ’cause you do have to SIGN UP to most Social Media.
So really who is to blame?
Not my ass, I didn’t sign up for this.