Scientist reveals ‘snorting’ might not be the best method to consume cocaine.
After years of research, Chemical prodigy and occasional stalker; Dr. Doomsickle Frostbite has revealed his conclusive study.
His research expands from the different methods through which cocaine has been consumed over the years, from being a key ingredient to Coca-Cola’s success to Wall-Street mayhem; Dr. Doomsickle has covered it all.
His findings, whilst dreadful, are revealing of a much broader and sociopolitical issue.
“Just look at the number of arrests man! What the fuck are they arresting baking soda for? I mean cocaine is the real deal and these guys are wasting it by mixing it with baking soda. I say arrest ’em all!” — one of his many ramblings on Cocaine use.
He’s uncovered what has long been known to be the root cause of excitement and disappointment for many men over the years; erectile dysfuction.
As a man suffering from the condition himself, he claims he has wholeheartedly dedicated the past decade to this research.
“The findings are phenomenal. I mean if I’d known all this shit back when I was a Professor at Harvard; I’d been the fucking Dean by now. I guess every rose has its thorns and every professor sings a sad sad song” — he claims, reminding me of how he suffers…
