Road Rage Survivors.
Road rage, ah what a wonderful way to express yourself — nothing says more about your personality than a good ol’ road-rage burnout.
To all the Honkers, Lane Drifters, Impatient Victims of their phones; here’s what I have to say to you — I love watching “Instant Karma” videos.
They provide me with great pleasure in acknowledging that there truly is a God above.
One of the greatest perks of my job is that I’ve basically dealt with so many different egos, I’ve basically become immune to complete douchebaggery.
I have developed a skin thicker than my raggedy leather jacket.
Which I’ve worn long enough, that it might as well be my second skin.
What does it tell me when I get “honked” at?
Well, did I deserve it?
Is the driver behind me unable to see the light is red?
Is there something wrong with my car?
Is giving the driver “The LOOK” or “The FINGER” going to solve the problem?
Should I flash my concealed carry weapon, only to get arrested a few minutes later because turns out the driver is actually an undercover cop?
God, so many unanswered questions.
The greatest pleasure is though, when I refuse to respond to the impatient honker; the driver gives me the finger — honks uncontrollably, drives off; and BAM!
— Revenge has been served.
And I’m sitting back in my car, poker-faced — observing, wondering how I might work this into my novel later on.
It’s intriguing as to why we’re so impatient on the road, when we might be the most composed of people in our private life.
Why is it so easy to lose control on the road?
Is there an emergency?
Will I get fired for being late for work?
Is it because I’m just angry today?
An argument at home?
Trouble at school?
I hate honking, always have. I’m in no hurry to get anywhere.
I make sure I always leave early if there’s unpredictable traffic, and just to be sure I check traffic anyways early on.
Back in the day, nothing made me lose control like being honked at, it made me go completely bonkers.
Admittedly, I once stopped my car in the middle of the road because the driver kept honking at me; when I finally got out of my vehicle — cursing and shouting.
The gentleman informed me, “Your trunk is open!”
Oh, what an idiot I’ve just made of myself.
I gave the old man a hug and apologised.
Since then I learnt my lesson — don’t do anything stupid, don’t respond in anger, stop to think before you react, stupid!
But how much we control ourselves when it’s absolute insanity on the road, we all have places to be, things to do, porn to watch.
It’s all part of life.
I love Australians, because they have the best Road-Rage insults.
“Oi, you prick. Get on a freakin’ train next time”, is my best one yet.
Honkers are well, just honkers.
They honk their horn because nothing tests their patience like the road.
Frustration, Anger, Happiness, Euphoria, Digestive System, Insanity…list goes on.
The road tests every part of your body, when you least expect it.
A lot can be learnt from the innocent Mr. Bean.
The innocent, almost alien like human being; having trouble fitting into society.
A society which finds his innocence rather annoying.
A society which is often dismissive of his antics.
I adore him, and there’s a Mr. Bean in all of us.
The Alienated part, The Goofy part, The Attention Seeking part, The Lazy part, The Trusty Teddy Bear confidant, but most of all the innocence that just doesn’t translate too well.
And that’s what road-rage is, the inability to come to terms with multiple decisions being made in seconds.
And whilst road-rage some times may be called for, it’s always a discovery into reading into someone’s character.
Road-rage is in fact, just a test of patience.
If you can master it, it might just save your life some day!