Nike blames McDonald’s for the Kaepernick controversy.

McDonald’s has been causing mass-diarrhoea way before we got involved with Kaepernick”, says Nike spokesperson and Campaign Manager Dr. Manhattan.

“aerial photography of NFL logo printed on field” by Adrian Curiel on Unsplash

Mr. Colin Rand Kaepernick went on to add, “When I said ‘Believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything’, I really meant my uncontrollable diarrhoea resulting from those delicious juicy mustard and ketchup covered hamburgers that McDonald’s has been putting in my belly since I first joined the NFL resulting in my embarrassment during the National Anthem forcing me to kneel and conceal as diarrhoea flooded my bright yellow pants.”

I failed to learn the piano, so I decided I’d play the keyboard instead. //All aboard the Crazytrain.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store