McDonald’s, how could you betray me?
In the middle of the night, my stomach was rumbling.
I gave my trusty friend a call, knowing they’d serve me.
Hello, McDonald’s How may I be worthy?
Can I have a McChicken, I know it’s yummy.
Deliciously cooked to perfection, with it’s tenderly fried crust covered in dense mayonnaise; between that fluffy bun, I know what I want.
Baby are you, up?
Let’s turn it on.
Would you like to make it a double patty, cheese in the middle?
I said it sounds naughty, but worth every penny.
Lingering those sizzling voices in the background, making my desire for that meal I’d been longing for so long.
Suddenly a voice of betrayal emerged, as they put me on hold; I overhead, “It’s 100% Chicken now, We know you’ll love it”.
Wait. What the fuck did you just say?
It’s 100% Chicken, We KNOW you’ll love it!
What the fuck was it before?
Umm…would you like to upsize?
NO! Tell me. What is this sudden surprise?
Micky D’s you’ve betrayed me, all along I thought we were onto something sublime.
Those nights we spent, as I savoured every inch of you.
Whilst I’m sure Ronald was screwing me too.
Filling my empty stomach, as your juices dripped along my mountain dew.
Bitch, you’ve been lying all along!
What was in my stomach, Was it not meat all along?
Well…it’s a business, it takes a few ingredients to make it work for the incredible demand!
I can’t believe it, my head is turning — I think I’m going to faint, how could you deceive me?
Maybe, it’s a heart attack? Ha ha, Just kidding.
I put my faith in you, baby! All along. As I lied down on my lazy ass, you came to save me from the storm.
Of impending horrors brought on through endless savants.
Even when they told me not to trust you, I called you every time; 24/7 you’d be there. And I’d make you mine.
How could this happen?
We can make this work?
No we can’t, you lied to me! It’s over, I’ll order Crust.
I might even join the Vegans, at least they admit they’re crazy.
Well, what about Pizza-Hut; weren’t you also deceiving me?
Weren’t you also the one cheating on my trust?
I’m a man! My stomach thinks for me. My dick doesn’t work.
No it doesn’t, it’s your brain — and you’ve chosen Pizza over McFlurrys.
But at least they never lied to me!
Oh you think so? Their cheese wasn’t even Mozzarella, you dummy!
But…but…it tasted so good.
How could I never question the ingredients you cooked?
This is worse than the betrayal of Bernie Madoff and his crooks.
No amount of apologies could rebuild this trust.
You played me well, worthy of a artistic performance.
Like Mel Gibson’s redemption, with Passion of the Christ.
They should give you an Oscar!
It didn’t, it got snubbed; see how you’re so blinded?
You only pay attention to the misguided.
Stop playing these tricks, I want to end it all.
After all those nights, is this how it falls?
Crumbling like those pieces of the bun that always outlive the patty?
Falling pieces of lettuce as I skim through the Frosties?
What about the tomatoes? Were they frozen too?
Of course they were! How the hell else do you think we store?
We have expectations to meet, hungry alcoholics to feed.
It ain’t easy working 24/7, with the smell of rotten Swiss-cheese!
Oh but those patties were always to delicious, little did I know you were slowly impregnating us.
My stomach, in the mirror, looks like it’s our love child.
Mixing together components of formaldehyde.
No wonder I haven’t pooped in over a year!
It was all your fault, this is what I get for running from my fears.
I lay still, as the cholesterol rushed to clog my blood.
I slip my wrist, and instead meaty leftovers would befall.
Oh what an end, to this sad story.
My love affair with my desire, would be akin to the ending of a Shakespeare story! (Spoiler alert).