Photo by 35mm on Unsplash

“I’m so limited in what I can do, that if I couldn’t have achieved what I have in this narrow corridor of pursuit; I’d probably drink myself to death.”
David Letterman.

Now I’m trying to pull the Steve Jobs routine and wear the same thing everyday like I’m part of a cult, but I find my life is a lot easier when I don’t have too many options.

A suit works pretty perfectly for my lifestyle, I always make sure I have a plain T-Shirt underneath incase I have to make a casual appearance and don’t wish to look over-dressed. I can very easily take off my Shirt, My Tie, Put my Suit jacket back on and viola! I just went from Formal to Casual in less than a minute.

I find it works in other parts of life too, like limiting my options on what to eat; I’m not particularly picky about my food so if I find something that works, I stick with it.

Same goes for my socks, I hate socks, they get lost all the time and develop a life of their own; sometimes turning themselves inside out just to mess with my head. So I bought a stack of black socks so that I never fuck up, even in the dark — the probability of me picking out a pair that matches is a 100%.

People always tell me I shouldn’t take things to the extreme, but what do people know. So I took this idea of limiting my options and just ran with it.

Decided to go absolutely mental.

  • Too many emails too read? Select and Delete them all! Options Limited.
  • Too many notifications? Block all of them. Options Limited.
  • Too many phone calls? Send all calls to my voicemail. Options Limited.
  • Too many cars to choose from? Fuck it, sell them all. Options Limited.
  • Too many bedsheets to choose from? Burn them all, who needs a bed sheet if you have decent mattress. Options Limited.
  • Too many partners to choose from? Reject them all, become celibate. Options Limited.
  • Too many drugs to choose from? Do them all. Options Limited.
  • Too many people that want to talk to me? Pretend I’m dead. Options Limited.
  • Too many meetings scheduled? Don’t show up for any of them. Options Limited.
  • Too many birthdays to remember? Don’t wish anybody happy birthday. Options Limited.
  • Too many names to remember? Don’t even bother, call them Sir or Ms. Options Limited.
  • Too many Travel locations to choose from? Don’t travel at all. Options Limited.
  • Too many career options? Forget about a career, who needs one anyways. Options Limited.
  • Too many favourite colours to choose from? Hate them all. Options Limited.
  • Too many universities to choose from? Don’t apply to any of them. Options Limited.
  • Too many Coffee types? Hmm…go for the espresso. Options Limited.
  • Too many movies to choose from? Don’t watch ’em. Options Limited.
  • Too many sex positions? Don’t have sex. Options Limited.
  • Too many traffic signs? Don’t follow any of them. Options Limited.
  • Too many rules to follow? Rules are meant to be broken. Options Limited.
  • Too many books to read? Don’t read at all. Options Limited.
  • Too many Restaurants to try? Don’t eat at Restaurants. Options Limited.
  • Too many hogs to feed? Don’t feed them hogs. Options Limited.
  • Too many options to choose from? Limit them all. Options Limited.
  • Too much life to choose from? Choose the competition. Options Limited.
  • Too many words to choose from? Choose Limited.

I failed to learn the piano, so I decided I’d play the keyboard instead. //All aboard the Crazytrain.

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