Let’s stop shaming adults for the “age-gap” in relationships.
Ever read a headline, “Gold-digger marries Lottery winner”.
Or how Anna-Nicole Smith was pretty much the talk of the town when she married J. Howard Marshall?
Even the President of France couldn’t escape the wrath of “age-rage” when he married his wife Brigitte Macron.
What’s odd to me is, nobody cares to notice that the age-difference between Mr. and Mrs. Macron (25 years) is nearly the same as Mr. and Mrs. Trump (24 Years); except the genders are reversed.
I’m sure they have a lot to discuss on this matter.
I’m 26, considering my past two relationships didn’t go all too well — my partner being usually the same age as me, respectively during High-School and My first year at University.
I came to a realisation that due to my own inability to communicate with people of my own age, I tend to get along with individuals who tend to be much older than me.
Which is why most of my colleagues are my friends, they’re almost all at least 6–8 years older.
“With age, comes wisdom”,
I’ve dealt with enough people in my life to realise that it’s largely my maturity level that hinders me from being able to make a connection with individuals who haven’t had the same exposure to life as I have; hence I appear too standoffish to my peers.
This is not to say that every one my age isn’t on the same intellectual level (I’m no genius) or that people younger than me couldn’t possibly relate.
It’s the simplicity that I value.
The no b.s. attitude mature people tend to have.
Especially people who have matured well into their 30s. (Excluding manchilds)
Recently, I found myself at a social gathering and met a wonderful woman; we started chatting, I talked about writing, she talked about being a lawyer — we both agreed that “Philadelphia” is a great movie and that “Kramer Vs. Kramer” is a wonderful court-room drama.
The conversation was going great, and I truly felt “what a wonderful human being” until someone disrupted the conversation with — “You weren’t even born when Kramer Vs. Kramer came out. She must’ve been at least 15”
WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT MATTER?
I was having a lovely conversation until someone decided to bring up the age barrier.
I noticed she felt uncomfortable, as I tried to break the ice by calling it a “classic” and that it’s worth a watch — despite it being released before I was born.
Yet the conversation was lost, the moment was disturbed, and as such we parted ways.
We exchanged phone-numbers and eloquently remarked that if either one of us should ever need company, feel free to leave a message.
Much to my surprise, her intellect matched her sense of self-esteem as instantly we parted ways I received a text message saying “Well…wasn’t that awkward?”.
Which is exactly why I respect honesty, and why it’s more common with people who have reached the maturity level to not be judgemental or dismissive of age gaps once every one in the room is an adult.
Inquisitively, I did reply “I don’t think he would’ve said that if the genders were reversed, right? Or am I wrong?”
Hence, a friendship was born.
Now, do I care if people remark — “So how’s hanging out with your aunt?”
Should I care when people judge me for wanting to spend time with an intellectually mature human being rather than passing remarks on “what is and isn’t an age-appropriate friendship by society’s standards”?
“You’re into Milfs?”
“How’s it going with the cougar?”
Are a few of the fantasies people who watch too much porn seem to keep churning up when I do decide to spend time with my new best-friend.
In defence of what is seemingly an innocent friendship, one that I’ve grown to admire; I feel there is a sense of constant judgement.
Not just within my social circle, but rather even in passing.
For some reason it just doesn’t seem socially acceptable for a guy who is 26 to be spending time with a woman who is 38 years old.
Whether the relationship is romantic or not, isn’t the problem.
It’s the perception we have towards opposing genders and our bias towards “Age-Appropriation”.
Yet the narrative almost always swings in favour of elderly men dating younger woman — and the younger woman being judged for it.
And shaming of a younger man dating a seemingly mature woman — and the younger man must be shamed for it whilst the woman must bear the social consequence and have it to be perceived as a “fetish”.
Though no one ever judges me when I spend time with my colleagues and fellow Professors who are nearing their 70s.
Because, hey it’s just two guys hanging out.
Well…we could be a couple, who knows?
You just made the assumption that because it’s the same genders, of course it can’t be romantic.
Haven’t you seen “Beginners”?
Point being, and help me understand this — because for the life of me I cannot seem to shut people up.
Why is it perceived inappropriate when a younger adult man develops a relationship with a seemingly mature woman?
Can’t we just come to terms that there is a bias towards this phenomenon when it’s almost always perceived to be okay when an older man is dating far younger woman?
Freakin’ Mick Jagger still hangs out with models in their 20s, but sure he’s a rock-star so who is to judge…
But I guess the world would come to an end if Jake Gyllenhaal decided to date Diane Keaton…
Speaking of which isn’t Jeff Goldblum happily married to Emilie Livington, whom I believe is half his age…?
“Well it’s Jeff Goldblum, and he doesn’t look THAT old! That’s true love”.
Whilst I’ll be spending time with my new best friend who doesn’t care much about age, since we’re both mature adults; society will burn in shame as they cannot grasp the simple idea of friendships without age-barriers well into their adulthood.