Laying down all my cards on the table.

If you didn’t give it everything you’ve got, you didn’t try hard enough.

Life is a weird balance, I got a taste of all the things I thought I wanted; only to realise it’s what I needed.

Now I’m going back to the basics, reversing everything.

Tearing everything apart, to put it all back together.

Doesn’t really make sense, and maybe I’m delusional.

But hey, I gotta try; right?

Writing has been my passion since I was a kid, never thought it’d be a career.

I was going through boxes my parents kept of nostalgic reminders of my childhood, and within was a piece of paper from when I was in Pre-School.

It was an essay, titled — “What I would like to be when I grow up.”.

I wrote, “I’d like to be a writer.”

Somehow along the way, writing became a hobby; notes became personal.

I became insecure about sharing my work — put it in my filing cabinets and forgot about it.

Well, something sparked; and I guess I gotta give it a shot — if doesn’t work then whatever, I tried.

I gotta try though.

People have been telling me it’s a dying career, how making money off of writing is a tough business; Media Entertainment and Video Logs prevail.

Yet, I want to go back to the basics.

Where writing was raw, and reading Kurt Vonnegut Jr.’s SlaughterHouse-Five prologue drove chills down my spine as he tells Mary O’Hare, “There won’t be any movies about this one.”

Promising not to glorify war in his novel — he kept his promise.

He also inspired a young kid to continue writing, even if nobody was ever going to read it.

“Practice any art . . . no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.”

— Kurt Vonnegut.

I’m quite fortunate to be in a position where I have enough saved up to last me a while, and the business will do just fine — maybe it’s time I hand it over.

Go back and try to fulfil a promise I made to my younger-self.

“When I grow up, I want to be a writer.”

I failed to learn the piano, so I decided I’d play the keyboard instead. //All aboard the Crazytrain.

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