Just when you thought your shit was weird.
In a fascinating discovery, Scientists who spend too much time analysing animal poop have found another reason to make us human feel like absolute crap.
Yeap, that’s right. We’re not special.
Wombats, they’re special.
Wanna know why?
Their poop is cube-shaped.
Don’t believe me.
Evidence uncovered by Bodily Fluids Specialist Patricia Yang; reveals that Australian Wombats have special pooping mechanisms that makes them the most unique poopers on the planet.
“Fucking shit, I already felt horrible about not being special. The only thing I thought made me unique was my morning glory, turns out — Wombats already claimed that spot”, said an enthusiastic Anti-Vegan.
Whilst the Vegan community rejoices in the findings of Patricia Yang, giving more fuel to the Veganism socio-political argument that human life is absolutely worthless when compared to the unique marsupials; because their poop is “cube-shaped”.
Anal cavity enthusiasts are “excited” by this discovery, and though much is yet to be revealed of these shocking findings, rest be assured that scientists have proven once again “Humans aren’t all that special.”
It is widely established that the primary reason for why Wombats product cube-shaped excrement is to “make their territory”.
Conspiracy theorists are claiming the spot light once again by claiming this adds further evidence to their theory that the “Earth is in-fact flat”, by forming the opinion, “Wombat poop is the ultimate source of protein, and the cover-up stinks to high-hell. If the Earth was in-fact round, it wouldn’t be possible for combats to produce that specific of a cube through their anus”.
Obviously, don’t take my word for it — Cited below are the professional findings of “National Geographic”.
Why is wombat poop cube-shaped?
Wombats are a burrowing animal native to Australia perhaps best-known for being, well, pudgy-and quite cute. But…
Excuse me, whilst I drown myself in shame as I overdose on caffeine since it’s the only thing that actually produces poop anymore through my digestive tract.