John Wick joins PETA, in an attempt to prevent cruelty against Dogs.
Inspired by the story of Navy SEAL “Lone Survivor” — Marcus Luttrell. Hearing the story of Marcus’ therapy puppy ‘Dasy’ getting popped by two punks; Alfonso Hernandez and Michael Edmonds, has inspired John Wick to provide PETA the muscle they long deserved in their fight to protect Animals.
Mr. John Wick, a highly trained assassin, who enjoys long walks along the beach and spinning his Muscle-Car around on the streets and tracks; might not be your average Joe. But PETA claims this is exactly the kind of motivation they need to pursue their fight to restore the balance against humans regarding Animal Cruelty.
Mr. Wick, who also lost his lovely puppy to a “bunch of spoilt wannabe Mafia punks”, says he’s willing to take on the entire world of Puppy-Assassins in an attempt to restore balance to society.
In his official statement, he had the following heartfelt comments to share:
“People have been asking me. Asking me if I’m back. After taking down the Russian Mafia who took my dog away to being betrayed by my old Assassin buddy; yeah, yeah I’m thinking I’m back! I think it’s time we took the fight to them and put some fear into these punks who think it’s okay to shoot puppies.”
When asked about his stance on other types of animal cruelty; such as Clothing and Restaurants, he responded “I care about DOGS. If that’s too complicated for you to understand, maybe it will make more sense if I shoved my submachine gun up your anus.”
PETA representative Ms. Charlene Dicksplit has shared their excitement on having Mr. Wick join their cause and have already started developing an Animal Tactical-Training program.
“We’re calling it the Wick-Split. It’s a special style of combat specifically designed for Dogs and Puppies alike to protect themselves against potential threats. The program includes special clawing techniques to going full-blown Rambo on their ass with a Glock 26 and MP5 Submachine Guns. We’re also collaborating with Mr. Wick’s associate Bowery King to help gain access to his Military Style trained Pigeons who especially in brutal machine-gun style repetitive poop shoots to disarm any potential threat from the sky above, think of them as Drones with brains of their own; free spirited.”
Veteran Actor and Long-Term Animals Rights activist Joaquin Phoenix will also be joining PETA in their upcoming march “Tacticals for Animals”.