How to write with a broken elbow.
1 — Hire an Intern,
These wonderful creatures work for free and are more than happy to contribute their valuable time to help you reach your daily goals, in return for a measly “Letter of Reference” — cons, they tend to be gossipy (don’t narrate anything too personal).
2 — Use Siri,
This delightful Artificially Intelligent voice of reason lives right in your pocket, best part — she’s not judgemental and when she gives you attitude, you can easily switch her accent to a more suitable one; For example British English or Australian English, she’s bilingual!
If you need it to show you an extra layer of judgement, switch it to male!
3 — Become Ambidextrous,
Ever wondered how amputees feel? Now’s your time to find out. Venture into a world of Daniel Day Lewis level of method acting from “My Left Foot,” by using whatever body part you see fit to type it out on yore efignf keybfbsjaeyfjea.
4 — Narrate,
We all love the sound of our own voice, take coaching lessons from Tom Waits and mumble your way through recording a piece of artistic history; when asked where you got the inspiration from to create such astounding work, simply look to the floor and deflect all sources of light.
5 — Hey Mum!,
We all know mum’s will do anything for their children, doesn’t even have to be your own mum! Guess what, all mums love helping people — especially when you’ve got that broken elbow to garner some extra votes of pity and sympathy. Make them feel sorry and come up with a decent sob story for if you don’t get your writing done, it won’t just be your elbow that’s broken.
Finally, when all else fails —
Copy paste! Remember, CTRL C & CTRL V are your most reliable friends.
Let’s test it out now,
“How to fake a broken elbow?”,
Works like a charm!