You know it’s going to happen eventually, so you might as well get it over with.
Step 1 — Explain to the kids how they’re born.
Step 2 — Explain to the kids the value of relationships.
Step 3 — Explain to the kids how ‘love’ is unconditional but sometimes conditions do apply, so always remember to read the fine print.
Step 4 — Start explaining to the kids why you’re not perfect for them.
Step 5 — Finally, drop the bombshell that you’re not even their real parents.
Step 6 — Tell them you’re going to go buy cigarettes and never return.
Step 7 — Call Social Services, they’ll take care of it.