How to avoid awkward conversations about “Issues”.
Don’t we all love sitting down with a bunch of our friends, talking about “issues”; like we’re in the middle of a United Nations summit arguing the next big revolution.
Except, you know…nobody ever does anything — we just love talking about “issues”.
I’m a shameless realist; I know I’m not going to bother doing anything — neither do I have aspirations of one day changing the world.
I just like boxing and ranting on Medium, hopefully get a few dollars out of it to be able to afford coffee and a croissant.
I’m no genius on “issues”, neither am I the most informed person on every single one — but I’m damn good at nodding and smiling.
Or making that serious looking face, the one that says “I’m really really paying attention right now. I’m deeply affected by your world view. I’m also very very aware you’ll never do anything expect talking about these ‘issues’. But I’ll play along.”
I don’t date either, cause well really can’t be bothered.
The last date I went on was with a very interesting young lady, she wanted to revolutionise the Middle-East and reform women’s rights; she works at KPMG now. Revolutionising the auditing industry.
My best friend, he’s a good fella — a little bit of a hippie, but he means well.
He too loves talking about ‘issues’, such as animals.
He loves animals. So much so that he refuses to eat them.
Now, I love animals too; but I’ll admit some of them are just too tasty to refuse.
Now he’s always telling me I should quit meat, because it’s torture; and I agree, it’s not fair to the animals.
But neither is owning an iPhone if you really think about it, aren’t those poor individuals in China slaving away just so that we can have the luxury of not having to line up for the next fucking iPhone XS XS XS or whatever the new one is called.
Apparently animals are more important than humans, according to my best friend; we’re no longer best friends.
As a matter of fact, I don’t associate with him anymore because I got real tired of having to listen to his “Meat is Murder” mantra.
Do what you gotta do, leave me be.
I’ll pay penance for my sins of devouring sweet honey grilled chicken, when the time comes and chickens finally evolve to take over the planet.
Until then, get me another one of those with fries on the side.
As a complete jerk, I’ve also noticed people love talking about ‘issues’ to try and sound ‘smart’; like this one guy I know who definitely became a feminist to try to get laid with my other friend who attends all the rallies.
Only, being the deviant that I am — I forgot to mention “Dude, She’s into women.”
I’ll let him figure that one out when the time comes.
Until then, I’m not pretending to be a moral pundit — I’m a selfish selfish man who cares very little about ‘issues’ that do not concern me.
The things that I do care about, I act on — I don’t talk about them without acting on what I do believe in.
Maybe, that’s just not the right mentality to have — but I prefer a little action to back up my reaction.
Since I can’t avoid getting pulled into social conversations about ‘issues’, I’ll keep nodding and smiling, making an agreeable face, giving all the right expressions of seeming interested; as I ridicule inwardly at the hypocrisy of it all — of how every one of these ‘issues’ will never get resolved by this group of people ranting at each other resting within the comfort provided by the confines of the environment we inherit.