Dear Mr. Horror,
We haven’t spoken in a while, and I’d just like to say; it’s kind of you to visit with us again.
You’ll be happy to know I no longer worry about the sinking feeling every time I go to bed, and the panic in the nightmare doesn’t really scare me much anymore.
Loss made me learn that I can’t really freeze time, and sobbing about it wasn’t going to do me much good either.
I did what one does, in times of trouble, despair, and confusion; I started to run, I ran alot; infact I ran so much that the shoes were worn out and I had to buy a new pair.
Until a dear friend dropped by, to remind me I no longer had to run anymore; there wasn’t much left to run from either.
I looked around and realised, life goes by real quick; making the best of it was never part of the plan.
Plans change, so do circumstances; best I can do is adapt.
Out of sheer boredom, I picked up a jump rope; skipped until it felt effortless and I zoned out.
Lingering in the back of my mind, all the anxiety in my subconscious trapped within somehow found its way up top; I guess it’s what they call an emotional release.
And I cried, and I haven’t cried in a while — in fact I can’t remember the last time that I did.
I’m not quite sure if they were tears of joy or misery, just bottled up emotions mixed together like a cocktail straight from hell.
It felt good, and so I kept skipping rope every day.
Skipping rope because my shoes wouldn’t be worn out as much as they were when I was running; skipping rope because I can stand still but still feel like I’m going somewhere.
Skipping along, because even when I accomplish nothing; it feels just fine letting the wires run wild in their perplexed fashion.
I get tangled up every once in a while, I reset and start skipping again.
I haven’t found the answers yet, Mr. Horror, but I’ve sure learnt how to grieve.
I passed by all the places today, the old buried in their shallow graves.
One day, I too will join them — 6 feet deep.
But until that day I’ll be jumping above the ground until my feet sink skin deep.