Grigori Rasputin — My favourite Psychopath.

What can be more legendary than having your penis preserved in a jar as your legacy? Fucking nothing, mate. Nothing. Nothing can ever top that.

“grayscale of trees” by Simon Matzinger on Unsplash

Which is why I think Grigori Rasputin; is not just the most iconic Psychopath but also more influential than any of the posers that followed him.

Gotta love the dude with the confidence to proclaim to the Tsar, “Hey mate, so…I’m going to be boning your wife. Alright?”

Not only was he a bad-ass at letting people know he knew his shit; apparently it took three attempts to finally kill the guy.

Now what can be more legendary than that? Rising back from the dead, LITERALLY!

With his mystical eyes, and hipster beard — it’s hard not to see the appeal of The Mad Monk.

Coming from a life of poverty, a complete peasant; to rising up the ranks to eventually chilling with the family of Tsar Nicholas II.

Forget about Hannibal Lecter and Ted Bundy; this guy, I’m telling you man — knew how to get it done.

If there’s anybody that can ever come close to dreaming big and actually getting there just based of charisma is Charles Manson.

So it’s not that surprising to learn that the two individuals actually had alot in common.

For one — both loved women. And when I say loved, I mean LOVED!

If you think you love your wife; think again!

Because I bet Grigori Rasputin could love her even more.

Seriously.

Don’t take it from me.

Take it from the Tsar’s wife Alexandra Feodorovna’s Official Biographist; The Music group “Boney M”:

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar
But the cassock he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she’d heard the things he’d done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
For power became known to more and more people
The demands to do something about this outrageous
Man became louder and louder

This man’s just got to go, declared his enemies
But the ladies begged, don’t you try to do it, please
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they’re not to blame
Come to visit us they kept demanding
And he really came

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
He drank it all and said, I feel fine

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn’t quit, they wanted his head
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
And so they shot him ’til he was dead

Oh, those Russians

Have a lovely evening.

I failed to learn the piano, so I decided I’d play the keyboard instead. //All aboard the Crazytrain.

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