Go Fuck Yourself.

The “Mantra” of angst and defeat.

Ever been in an argument with someone — getting to a point that you know you’re going to hit the mark on that imaginary nail with your imaginary hammer.

Only to be told, “Go Fuck Yourself” — End of Argument.

It’s the mantra of our society, when presented with logic.

Your logic offends me, hence — “Go Fuck Yourself”.

I don’t care what anybody says, I don’t agree with the term “We’re all created equal”.

But dare I bring logic into it, and I’ll be labelled something or the other — any label that fits to ridicule me.

And then someone will shout, “Go Fuck Yourself!”.

I’ve started to embrace fucking myself.

It’s a great feeling of relief, all that tension, the pressure…oh god what a relief it is to finally fuck myself.

Why hadn’t I tried this before?

What a wonderful world I’ve been introduced to.

Now that I’ve conquering “Fucking myself”, I’m basically invincible.

Next time someone tells me to “Go Fuck Myself”, I can now proudly respond — “Thank you for that, I’ll go take care of that now”.

…and upon my return from fucking myself, will we continue this conversation?

“No, you go fuck yourself!”

“Again? Really, Okay! I guess I’ll go again then.”

Tired and exhausted, I make my return…

“Ahh…yes. So I just went and fucked myself again. Do we continue now?”

“No we don’t, your jerk! GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

“Oh man…these folks really enjoy me fucking myself. Is this a fetish going on here? What am I missing?”

“You’re an idiot!”, someone will shout.

“Make yourself known, I can’t see into the dark — there’s too many lights pointed towards me. Arghh!”, I’ll explain.

“I don’t have to, you fuck-wit. But yeah, seriously! GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

Now the crowd will join in a choir and say it in unison, “GO-FUCK-YOURSELF!”.

I’m starting to get the impression, you folks really like fucking.

Is that what’s going on here?

Again, I’m just told to go take care of myself.

I mean, there’s only so much my body can take — I’m human after all.

These people seem to think I’m some sort of sexual deviant, as though I get pleasure out of this heinous act.

The conversation is running in circles.

There’s really no consequence to be reached any longer.

I’m done, I’ve basically fucking myself as many times as these people want me to — yet they’re still unwilling to continue the conversation.

Ahh, I think to myself — what must I do.

How can an individual in a position such as myself, get out of this mess.

How do I bring logic back.

I think to myself, a stroke of genius or just an innocuous assumption?

“There people never wanted me to literally go fuck myself, they meant it figuratively. Is that what you guys meant?”

No answer.

Now I’m confused, see all this time I’m trying to figure out why these people are taking pleasure in my fucking — it ain’t even fun anymore.

Can we just get back to the discussion?


It’s not going to happen.

I’ve been told to fuck myself, more times than I’ve fucked others — at this point I might as well identify as asexual.

I’m done.

It’s over.

These people have me.

Then I think…hmm.

Let’s try this one,

“How about YOU go Fuck yourself?”

The crowd suddenly cheers, OH IT WORKED!

Now I understand — it’s a back and forth.

They tell me what to do, then I tell them what to do.

Alright so let’s start — who wants to go fuck themselves first?

“Get the fuck out of here!”, I’m told.

I hope you enjoyed pleasuring yourself, Thank you for reading.

I failed to learn the piano, so I decided I’d play the keyboard instead. //All aboard the Crazytrain.

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