Forgetful names and awkward pauses.
Let’s face it, we’ve all been there.
I’m looking at you, dad!
We all forget names, especially if you’re my dad and have too many children.
“Uhh…yeah the fucked up one actually ended up doing well for himself”.
Love you, Dad.
All kidding aside, I’ve got some tips for you for that awkward moment when you run into an acquaintance who you met through a mutual friend and now it’s just a bit of maintenance. (That was lousy, I know)
“Hey Dude!” — Works universally and pretty much on all genders, unless it’s a girl you’re trying to impress then you really screwed up mate; go stalk her facebook and find her name!
If you’re not alone,
Introduce them to your friend and make sure you’re paying close attention when they say “Oh hey nice to meet you, I’m Nabeel!”.
Take a selfie!
Yeap, take a selfie and ask them to “tag” you in it.
The Phone Number trick / Social Media trick:
“Hey so we should probably keep in touch, *hand them your phone* just add your details in there. Thanks! Omg yeah, Michael. Let’s catch up soon!”
You’ll never catch up with Michael.
“Hey, so how do you spell your name? I always seem to get that mixed up. Is it with a C or a K?”
“Isn’t there a C in Matt? I swear that’s how I aced my spelling-bee exam.”
At Work — The Email Trick:
“Hey do you mind sending me a quick email, I think there’s something wrong with my inbox.”
“Oh yeah I guess it worked, Thanks ASHLEY!”
Friendly Nickname Trick:
“…why’re you calling me compadre? My name’s Derrick.”
“I know it’s Derrick! But I call all my best friends compadre!”
The Multicultural Debacle:
“Hey so umm…is your’s like a unisex name in your country or I mean is it just for dudes?”
“Ali is pretty much almost always a name for men.”
“Really? Hmm…I call my workmate Ashley, Allie sometimes! Probably should stop doing that.”
The Gender Trouble:
I’ll admit this one can sometimes end up in racist territory but I’ve fallen victim to it too many times to just put it out there — I’m Sorry, it’s just that I can’t tell your gender by your name.
Whether it’s Robin, Zhang, Wang, Chris / Kris, Jessie, Naveen, etc…I’m guessing I’m not alone here? Emails can be difficult to respond to.
Almost always avoid using a direct reference to a gender, example below:
It’s great to hear from you and I hope that you’re doing well.
An individual such as yourself, always enlightens my day.
I wish to congratulate you on your upcoming project and wish you the best of luck.
I know I would be proud of myself, I was in your position.
A Strong, Independent, Soul — standing up for what’s RIGHT!
Anyways, I must leave now — sadly I’ve got to go get a brain scan done today. I think I’m developing early onset memory-loss.
When all else fails, Just own up to it:
“Hi, I’m sorry I forgot your name. What was it again?”
“…I never told you my name, you creep.”
“Oh yeah! Makes sense.”