Dear Dad, I was too naïve…

“child and parent hands photography” by Liane Metzler on Unsplash

The constant bickering of,
How I wished we have more to start with.

Complaining at every attempt you provided,
I never thanked you for the roof,
You helped build,
Of What kept us guarded.

I recall,
Every moment of rejection,
Looking for affirmation,
Wondering what I’d done wrong to have been so misguided.

Misunderstanding every notion of love,
For hatred and confusion.

Nagging at you,
For not providing enough,
Never showing an ounce of appreciation.

When mum was away,
You didn’t complain,
Instead made sure we weren’t disheartened.

Hiding away your pain,
To fill our stomach,
With your best effort at cooking.

Never reminding us,
Hiding from us,
That most nights you went to bed,
With yours empty.

The nights that we couldn’t keep,
The air-conditioning running,
You stayed up to make sure we slept with comfort.

As I complained of the flavour of the food,
You kept a smile on your face,
Never letting up hope,
Reminding me that this wasn’t the end.

I was too naïve to notice,
The night I slept comfortably,
You’d stayed up fighting off the cockroaches,
In the apartment.

Now that I look back,
Discovering just how much you’d given up,
Never once letting a younger version of me,
To take notice.

I still wouldn’t know,
How you put up with,
All my failures,
Never once giving up,
The hope you held.

Never once complaining,
Reminding me,

Of all that you’d given up,
To fulfil your duty as a parent.

I failed to learn the piano, so I decided I’d play the keyboard instead. //All aboard the Crazytrain.

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