Croissants, Tomato, and Cheese — my survival guide to being a travelling writer.

“variety of breads” by Ablimit Ablet on Unsplash

If you’re like me, and keep a travel bag ready at all times; you know the pain and perils of going through meals between a hectic schedule.

I’m sure you could.

One of the many benefits life has provided me is this, I get to fly First-Class.

And unlike many others, I get no pleasure in boarding first, or those wet-scented towels, or even the unlimited booze, or being treated a lot better than the lousy people who can’t afford First-Class (Mine is usually paid for by my clients — I’m not ashamed).

All I give a shit about is passing the fuck out as soon as I board.

Which is why Travel Lounges are a blessing, and I unashamedly will steal whatever I can and hog it for when I land at my destination.

Travel Lounges — especially really good ones, always have great stuff you can steal.

— Toothbrushes with Toothpaste.
— Free Towels.
— Shaving Kit.
— Hand Lotion.
— Shampoo.
— Yogurt snack-packs.
— Bread.
— Boxes of Juices.
— Deliciously Packaged Chocolates.
— Packets of Crips.
— Pastries.
— Tea Bags.
— Coffee Packets.
…and whatever else life of luxury has to offer.

(There’s a reason why they conveniently leave brown paper bags neatly tucked beside the island of food) — They want you to steal it.

But the best of all, Croissants with Tomato and Cheese. Umm…yummy.

I’ve been hogging Banana Bread and Croissants exclusively since 2017.

And trust me, my life has improved tremendously!

Whilst all my colleagues are trying to find a decent restaurant, I’m in the corner quietly munching on my stolen food.

There’s no shame in it, plus I have my stolen towels to wipe my face of any evidence with and hand lotion to keep my hands moisturised.

A conveniently package toothbrush with toothpaste include to take care of the rest.

Whilst my colleagues attempt to decipher foreign food; I’m there eating my portable yogurt using it’s neatly packed tiny spoon provided in the package.

They look at my with disgust, but I’m beyond feeling ashamed.

If life gives you free-shit, you take it.

— There’s no shame in that.

I steal hotel items all the time, because why not?

I’m not paying for over priced food when I can easily munch on my left over Croissant with Tomato and Cheese; and it’s fucking delicious.

So my survival tip to you travelling writer out there is this; steal as much free-shit as you possibly can. Own up to it. Hog it. Make sure you invest in a decent Snack-Bag for all the shit you’ve stolen.

I’m flying out with a very nice airline again, and I believe they even have some expensive perfumes available for the travellers to feel refreshed — I’m stealing that too.

I failed to learn the piano, so I decided I’d play the keyboard instead. //All aboard the Crazytrain.

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