Climate Change: Let’s get real.
After much thought and profoundly deep provocative facial expressions, I was able to convince people that I’d found the cure for this wrath that is Climate Change.
The environment is dying, oceans are melting, ice is unfreezing, polar bears are getting really sick of our shit.
It is believed that The Walking Dead might actually finally come to an end, due to Climate Change; since the writers refuse to stop milking the show’s audience.
After consultation and muted gibber gabber captured on video with an orchestral background music and narration by John Cleese; we developed the most motivating video to convince individuals to care for the environment.
Since, quitting smoking, driving, fuel injection, forest fire, hunting, and twerking was not a compromise people were willing to make; we were able to conclude there was only one solution to the problem.
END GASTRONOMIC RELEASE.
Methane is known to be the most cursed gas currently affecting global climate change, and we’d like you gassy fuckers to stop farting.
It’s not that difficult.
Our scientists have developed that once mastering the technique to control the gaseous release through anal retention; one can safety dispose of their fart into a specially designed “Gas Capture Bubble”, designed by famed Industrial Designer Dieter Rams — you know, the guy whose work Apple has been ripping off for years.
Groups have already taken action and environmentalists are working closely with SJWs to shove the “GCB” up each other’s anal cavity.
This needs to end; climate change is not a joke.
Show your support by contacting your nearest Methanator and join the fight to end this destruction of our environment once and for all.
The Polar Bears will be deeply grateful as they feast on your bodily remains.