I open up my medium, find unexpected notifications, have a look through them and realise one of my posts got a fair amount of claps.
That was unexpected, not because I don’t appreciate the views; it’s hardly that I think consciously about how much attention a certain post will garner.
I couldn’t for the life of me understand, why “that” particular post.
Since I publish everyday, sometimes even numerous times on the same day.
I thought to myself, “oh but what about that other one, that was one was so much better”.
Wait, what am I doing?
Why am I thinking about why the other post didn’t do well?
I’ve never thought about it before.
I’m only thinking about it because a post I didn’t expect to do well, kinda did alright.
Whilst the one I consciously focused on and researched, barely got any.
It didn’t affect me before, so why should it affect me now?
Because I’ve been given that little taste of what it feels like to have a post resonate, and I’m wishing “If only the other ones did too…”
It’s the wrong mentality, one that I needed to shake off instantly.
Go for a Jog, Nabeel.
Go hit the bag for 20 minutes, Nabeel.
Let the energy leave your system, don’t fall for this trap.
Don’t fall for the trap of repeating the formula of why “that” particular piece worked.
Don’t fall for the trap of chasing views because one of “those” pieces was click-worthy.
Don’t fall for the disingenuous voice in my head, telling me “maybe I should publish more posts like the one that worked, they seem to get more views”
Keep your voice.
Publish only what you believe in.
This isn’t a competition and I’m not trying get success by generating what most call monetising on “Algorithm Juice”.
I write because it’s my safe haven for expression.
To write for going viral would be the brutal violation of my moral code.
I write because it’s survival.
I’m grateful for the success that comes along the way.
But not at the cost of losing my voice.
Not at the cost of chasing views.
Not at the cost of pleasing followers.
Hence, whilst I’m grateful for the “claps” that the random insane post drew — I also know life is a passing thing, it happened, I’m grateful for it, but it shouldn’t be the definition of all there is that I have to write about.
There’s more to my work, I need to be able to read it and be content with myself because, “It came from the heart, and I meant every word of it”.