“I don’t need a man to tell me what is and isn’t attractive, it’s my body”, that’s probably the first thought that runs through people’s minds when I implore them not to mess around with their natural body.
Most might even say it’s hypocritical, guys go the gym and get buff — “they do it for the ladies”, some do? Most don’t.
It all started with a very deeply close friend of mine who felt uncomfortable with the idea of being single, being the inquisitive human being that I am — I told her the truth, “guys will say things to sleep with you”.
It’s horrible but it’s true.
People lie, most people are pretty good at it.
We don’t realise it, some times we even accept the lies.
Because in a society that is driven by a market of aesthetic beauty products to give your self-esteem a boost, who wouldn’t?
My hair started thinning when I was 16, I thought my life was over — as a 16 year old you just don’t want to be the kid that will have to wear a hat for the rest of his life.
Up until the age of 22, I was able to cover it up — I tried several products, medicines, some “pseudo-scientific” formulas, and even prayer.
I didn’t want my punk rock days to be over.
“GOD PLEASE GIVE ME MY FOLLICLES BACK!”
I think God put me on “Do-Not-Disturb” because of my pathetic ramblings.
This is when I realised these products don’t work, they just prey on gullible people.
I woke up one day, looked at myself — and shaved it off.
Happier for it, my shower time was down to 3 mins — I no longer had to worry about the wind knocking over my combover, and I began to appreciate the feeling of rubbing my freshly shaved head.
I started running, and discovered boxing.
Learnt there was better ways to take care of my body, ways that didn’t leave me feeling hollow and incomplete.
Ways that fulfilled me, and brought me pleasure.
So when my dear friend says, she wants to get a breast job because that’s what “guys like” — I tell her the truth, “yeah and guys who like that will jump out the door the minute they start to sag”.
This isn’t a man trying to control a woman’s body — I’m just letting people know how guys think, guys that aren’t worth the the time nor the effort.
And I can say that with the utmost clarity because I’m celibate, so saying the right things to get you to sleep with me isn’t the first or last thought that crosses my mind.
It allows me to be honest, and yeah at times it’s fucking brutal.
Nobody wants to hear that shit, especially when you feel alone and need affirmation.
I’m a true believer that people should do what makes them happy, if going to the gym and working out boosts your self esteem — by all means do it.
If a certain hair style, a piece of clothing, really anything that doesn’t bring harm to others or yourself — you should do it.
But in all honesty, do I think breast implants are attractive? Only when I used to watch too much porn.
In real life, I didn’t quite measure up the size of breasts before entering a relationship; back when I did care about relationships.
Quitting pornography entirely, gave my brain more clarity.
And that’s what I pin it down on, when my friend says she wants to get breast implants.
People are shallow, but those ones aren’t worth it.
Yeah it sucks to be single, and it sucks even more when a guy doesn’t call you back after what was seemingly more than a one night stand.
We’re pieces of shit, we say to prey on women we find who have low self-esteem; we’ll make you feel amazing and after we’re done, we won’t look back.
If by some unearthly coincidence should we run into each other again, we’ll probably bang another one out or come-up with a romantic excuse for “why” we just couldn’t call you back.
But dude! Nice guys finish last.
Fuck it, who cares?
Who cares who finishes first or last?
Is this a race?
I don’t give a shit who finishes first or last, I’m not competing.
I’ve got two loving parents who need me to be there for them, I got a passion for writing which needs time and effort, I have to maintain my job, and I have to train for my amateur fights — after all that, the last thing I’m thinking about is “I wonder if nice guys finish last”.
Because I’m so embroiled in things that I care about, things that I need to achieve, things that bring me pleasure; my brain has no time to process nonsense.
I don’t have the patience for bullshit and if you’re going to waste my time, don’t expect a reasonable response from me.
Hence, make your choices — “who” are you trying to please.
It’s part of life, and it’s part of our own faults of not being content with ourselves.
But when my friend gives into the same tricks, repeatedly — from my perspective she’s seeking affirmation in all the wrong places; I let it be known, as brutal as it sounds.
We all grow old, unless science finds a way to us to stop ageing — and I’m sure they’re trying; I say let it happen.
The person you enter into a relationship with today, won’t look the same 20 years from now.
But they’ll still be the same person.
See, people don’t change — we pretend we do.
You can change people, you can’t change human nature.
We’re drawn to other people because of their looks, but I’ve certainly been turned off instantly when they open their mouths.
Being the asshole that I am, I’ll tell it to their faces; it’s not nice.
But the truth never is nice, it’s not meant to be a comfy marshmallow cushion.
If breast implants, hair transplants, big muscles, was all it took for a relationship to work — it’ll fall apart the minute you’re not as jacked anymore, or you need another hair transplant, or your implants implode.
Or worse when a friend dies of steroid abuse, because he thought abs would get him laid — and realised that his dick stopped working and so he jumped off a cliff.
It’s just not worth it.
The damage we do to our bodies is often irreversible.
But remember, do what makes you happy — but also remember “why” you’re doing it.
Because if it was to befit the model of beauty in society, know that you’ll be running around in circles for the rest of your life trying to do the next thing that is perceived as attractive.
In writing this, do realise — this isn’t a man trying to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, it’s a person who has shovelled enough shit to be able to recognise what bullshit smells like.